It’s difficult to deal with failure, but here’s how to get back on your feet.

If you want to be successful in business, you can’t dwell on failure or missed opportunities, and you can’t let them define you.

In his book, The Difference Maker, John Maxwell explores how people deal with adversity. “I’ve discovered that when it comes to dealing with discouragement, there are only two types of people in this world: splatters and bouncers. When splatters hit rock bottom, they fall apart, and they stick to the bottom like glue. On the other hand, when bouncers hit bottom, they pull together and bounce back.”

When bouncers hit rock bottom, they painstakingly deconstruct what happened, avoid the temptation to let the loss define them, and refine their road map for success.

Although certain personality traits are characteristic of a bouncer or a splatter, learning how to deal with adversity is a skill and not something you are born with.

One of the most important steps in overcoming adversity and unpleasant emotions is refusing to wallow. Instead, set a deadline for accepting what happened. This emotional acceptance stage is essential for you to process your feelings and accept your new reality.

During this time, it’s recommended to take the following steps:

1. Replay what took place in your mind.

2. Go through emotional phases that will likely include anger, despair and resentment. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and try not to hold back.

3. Examine what went wrong prior to the failure and consider what signs you may have overlooked that might have led to your defeat.

4. Look at what you could do differently in the future.

Then apply what you’ve learned and go forward. Setting a dateline for yourself to progress past this stage is necessary. It limits the amount of time we let things consume us and it allows us to manage our thoughts and actions better.

Of course, we’re not all alike, so how long you need to recover might be different. The time you’ll need is largely dependent on these three factors:

1. Significance of your goal

2. Time invested

3. Having another goal, or several other goals

Those who raised funding for a business venture only to see it crumble may very well take more time to move on than someone who started a company on a whim.

P.S. Challenge yourself to set shorter deadlines. It will feel uncomfortable, but it is better to work your way through the process without taking too much time to dwell on past mistakes.